Location: Varkala, Kerala. Date: 01 May 2010

Jared says: Varkala-aaaaaaaaah. It could be any tropical beach anywhere in the world, and many would say it is not even India (and they are probably right), but jeez what a relaxing and easy place. We left Trivandrum in some peak heat, dripping like pigs on a spit we managed to find the right local bus and paid about $1NZ each for the hour and a bit journey. Whenever the bus got stuck in traffic the sauna-riffic effect had us feeling like we were cooking, but most of the time the fully open windows kept us well aerated.
The resort/hotel/tourist area of Varkala is nestled on a clifftop overlooking the beach and the Adriatic ocean and there are plenty of accommodation and eating places on offer. Tess sat in one of said cafes while I headed out to find suitable digs, and again after a fair deal of sweating I managed to find us a quiet little wooden cottage, with all the mod cons of air con and cable tv, and for a steal of a price, 800rupees (about $25NZ) where it was quoted in the Lonely Planet as 2-3000 rupees. But this was the start of the low season, and by all accounts the best time to be there as the number of tourists was about 10% of what it is supposedly like in “the season” as they call it.
Our first couple of days were spent in pure relaxation mode, making the most of how easy everything was and eating an array of western food (pizza, burritos, sandwiches, omelets, and even some quality coffee for Tess). And the quality was far superior to any of the western options we have erroneously negotiated in the similar resort type towns in South East Asia. Beer was still a rare and bizarre commodity, with none of the places advertising it on the menu and when they did serve it they did so in ceramic mugs and left the remainder of the bottle under the table out of sight. By all accounts the police know all about this and are bribed to allow it even, but the game of cat and mouse continues for the sake of someone, we are just not sure who.
On our third day we had our first fellow guest arrive at our resort, an Aussie fella called Ben. He was quick to get chatting and we found he is now living in India and absolutely loving the place. Along with him in the neighbouring unit was an Indian guy he called “Why Not” and two 5 week old puppies he had just purchased that day. Ben’s main reason to be there, apart from the will to party, was that his Indian boss Joe (who he lived with on a farm a couple of hours away) had sent him to try and help/sort out one of the local restaurants. He had been there a couple of weeks earlier to find the place with no water, power or food to cook, so had spent numerous rupees stocking them up, only to return on this occasion to find things back to how they were, in the dark without a chance of serving anyone. Hanging out with Ben that day, we got to witness some of the politics that go on with places like this, with various people turning up to talk with him and ask for money. In the end I think he saw it as a lost cause and was more interested in consuming the bottle of vodka and bottle of brandy he had brought with him. Something I was more than happy to help him with, as was Why Not. Anish was the real name of Why Not, but Ben called him so, as everything he asked of the pleasant and interesting young Varkala local was met with a cheeky smile and the simple reply of “why not”. This went from heading to the shop to get more mixers for his drinks or being the designated spliff roller. Supposedly Ben thought this to be an exceptional trait, as any other Indian he had met usually meant “no” when they answered “why not”.
After an afternoon of drinking Why Not was sent to the shop for another occasion to get more Red Bull and Soda Water, only to return a short time later with a cut finger and angry story to tell, and no mixers. By this time Ben was feeling the drink and brushed it over, only to find out the next morning Why Not had caused quite a commotion and had to accompany Ben in a round of apologies to all and sundry.
To add to what was already becoming a quite surreal evening for me, after Tess adjourned to bed not long after dark, Ben’s boss Joe arrived. Ben had already been gushing lyrically about this man and when he arrived all I could think was that he was some version of an Indian Mafioso. He came wearing a bandana, spoke softly with an almost lyrical content and commanded the utmost respect from all the locals, to the point they would try his drink to make sure it tasted right and break up his ganga for him before he would roll numerous fat spliffs. From Ben’s talk, Joe was a powerful man, owned the biggest catering business in Kerala, had a farm with all manner of animals from a parrot to an enormous Great Dane, wants to buy a tiger and a kangaroo, and has concerts at the farm where images are projected onto the accompanying waterfall. All very surreal and kinda gangsterish. Joe didn’t stay that long though and sauntered off into the night leaving me, Ben and Why Not at one of the local bars with a couple of the boys from there, drinking cocktails to the early hours. We even had a visit from some of the local elders (I presume), which left the boys scurrying for their pockets to pay off the obvious bribe for serving such drinks at such a late hour (I can only presume, again). All in all a highly eventful night and a very different look at Indian life, although not the real India, as Ben was quick to point out. After such a raucous night Ben left quickly the next day, however, we do have his contact details and have been told to call him if we ever need anything.
Our last day was spent with a long walk past some of the local fishing villages and a quick trip to the actual beach (for the first time), before having an early one as we will head to the train station in the morning for the couple of hour trip north to Alleppey, where a houseboat on the backwaters is the recommended attraction and highlight.

Accommo: Puthooram Resort, 800rp cottage with A/c, very nice for the price ****

Eats:
Calfouti: Our favourtie of the clifftop eateries with an array of tasty western and Indian meals at more than reasonable prices and the cheapest beer too. ****
Café Del Mar: The best coffee around and nice food although a little on the expensive side ***
Hungry Eye: Nice food and location, although a mouse did drop from the roof next to us one night we were there ***1/2
Little Tibet: Good momos and fruit juices, something a bit different and a more relaxed feel ***1/2